Birth story - Chloe and baby Maximus

*Trigger Warning* - infertility, loss of a parent, mental health, big baby

It’s taken a while to get round to writing out my birth story, it’s been a whirlwind of a few months and it’s quite an intense long one.

A little bit of back story…. in 2019 me and my husband were told that we would need IVF after 4 years of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant. We were lucky that our first round worked and gave us our eldest son, which was such a blessing. My first birth was during lockdown and was a positive straightforward induction but unfortunately my husband missed the birth due to the speed of my second stage of labour and restrictions in the hospital. I was absolutely gutted! It took me a long time to get over my experience with the staff/hospital/husband missing it but I was so thankful the birth experience itself was positive thanks to PBC. I very much looked forward (and hoped) that I would be able to do it again one day, hopefully not in the middle of a pandemic!

We had planned to go for a sibling round shortly after my son turned 1 which was August 2021. Sadly November 2021 my amazing Dad was killed in a car accident Our sibling round went on hold while I grieved and came to terms with a life without my very involved Dad. Finally as my sons 2nd birthday rolled round we decided that we would go ahead and start the IVF process again. We had our second transfer August 2022 which worked!

Pregnancy…

The pregnancy itself was straightforward and I had opted for a homebirth (which I wanted for my first also but changed it to induction). From 24/25 weeks my fundal height started to show that I was measuring about 4 weeks ahead. I took it with a pinch of salt as I knew how inaccurate the measurements could be.

Around this time I had a huge change in personal circumstances and overnight my pregnancy became extremely stressful. I started having anxiety attacks and significantly, after being so excited about birthing again, I was now unbelievably anxious about going into labour. The Hypnobirthing breathing I learnt with PBC in my first pregnancy became very useful now much sooner than expected… in for 6 out for 4…

I am so thankful that I had the most incredible support around me, particularly my community midwife, Sally, who I will remember forever.

I continued to measure 4 weeks ahead and started being sent for growth scans which also showed the same. Despite knowing how inaccurate both the scans and the Fundal height measurements can be, my bump was huge and I had already made comments about how much bigger this baby felt compared to my first.

By 35 weeks I was measuring 43 weeks in fundal height and I felt it! My 35 week growth scan estimated Max was 7lb13 already. I had already had a negative diabetes test (although I do wonder if this should have been done again!) and my amniotic fluid levels were normal. A plan was put in place to induce me at 39 weeks but my gut was telling me that would be too late and he’d be huge by then. I was barely mobile already and they agreed to start sweeps from 37 weeks.

At this point, with so much going on and Max measuring large, I decided that I could no longer comfortably birth at home so I changed to have a water birth at my local MLU.

Using hypnobirthing and my affirmations I slowly began to get to a place of being focused on the birth and my baby. I began to gain my confidence again in my own ability to birth despite what was going on. I will be forever grateful for the skills I learnt through PBC that helped me focus and change my mindset.

Labour…

My first sweep was booked for 37+1 at 10.30am. I went to bed the night before thankful I had made it to ‘full term’ so I could have a water birth but also desperately praying that I would go into labour this weekend. During the night I was really restless and assumed it was because I was anxious about the sweep!

I woke up at 6am and slowly pottered about. At about 6.15 I went to the toilet and heard an odd click noise whilst weeing but didn’t think anything of it until I got off the toilet. I decided to walk around and at 6.30 had a trickle of clear fluid down my legs. I stuck on a pad and decided to do some squats and hip circles to see if any more fluid would come out as his head was so low I thought it might be plugging them a little. One squat was all it took and I had a gush that leaked through my pad onto the floor. I was ECSTATIC. I’d actually gone into spontaneous labour!

I changed into a tena pant and by 7.30 I had filled it. As I wasn’t having any contractions yet triage wanted me to go in to check it was actually my waters which was fine and we started to get ready. By 8am I had filled my second tena pants and I started to get contractions. I called triage back and told them I wasn’t coming in for a check and I needed to go straight to the MLU (consultant had instructed that as soon as labour started to go into hospital and stay due to previous fast 2nd stage - birth story also in group). At this point I had a little stand off with the hospital as they wanted me on the labour ward (not a water birth) due to suspected big baby - I stood my ground and told them I was going to the MLU for a water birth!

8.30am we dropped off my son to a friends and we got to onto the MLU at 9am. My contractions were really ramping up now but thanks to the Freya app and breathing, I was coping really well. I was examined at 9.30 and I was 4cm but I knew it was going to be fast and told the midwives he’d be here by 12pm….I’m not sure they believed me.

I put my tens machine on and zoned out while my husband and mum made me laugh and kept the atmosphere light. I was really relaxed thankfully and my anxieties about feeling overwhelmed emotionally during labour, fell away. At 10am my mum slyly started timing contractions as I was so zoned and at 10.30 went out to tell the midwives that they were every 2 minutes.

Up until this point they hadn’t wanted me in the pool incase it stalled the labour but now suggested I get in. I got in at 10.39am - I think I was in for about 5 minutes before I transitioned and blurted out I needed gas and air. At this point I was practically having an out of body experience with every contraction. As his head entered my birth canal I thought ‘wow you are much bigger than my first.’ I just kept reminding myself to be slow and steady and breathe well. It was all pretty fast and Max was born at 10.58am!

I was so shocked when they passed him to me even though I knew in my gut it was going to be fast. He was covered in beautiful vernix and all I kept thinking was how thankful I was I got my calm water birth with the support I needed.

I refused a hat so I could smell his head and within 10 minutes my placenta started to come (no injection) so they took Max to weigh him while I birthed it. When they told me he was 9lb4 I was both mortified and doubly thankful he’d been born at 37+1! I also felt really proud that my instincts had been correct both about his size and the speed of the labour. 🩵

Max is now 11 weeks old and is such a delight. I am so thankful for PBC and the invaluable skills I learnt on the course, not just for the birth but both before and after whilst dealing with life’s challenges. If you haven’t got the Freya app definitely look into getting it!

The name we chose honoured my Dad, who was called Simon. Maximus means ‘The Greatest’… The Greatest Simon.

I hope they are encouraging to those of you that are waiting to have their babies.