Birth story - Chloe and baby Freddie

*Trigger Warning* - use of the word contractions, suspected big baby

🤍💙

Pregnancy:

My pregnancy was low risk, thankfully no sickness or any medical issues apart from headaches in the first trimester and low iron. I had a toddler to chase around whilst my partner worked away 1 week and 1 week at home so it was exhausting but still very smooth sailing! I decided I wanted a home birth after my first birth didn’t go to plan. There was no real trauma with her birth, it was the unnecessary intervention with my daughter that led to mistrust in the system. I applied for the community midwifery programme and I was accepted under their criteria, however the rules soon changed when I told them I’d be declining GBS testing and GD testing.

I had a 20 week scan where they picked up my placenta was low lying 🤦🏻‍♀️ so sent for another scan at 28 weeks purely to ensure it was out the way. What I didn’t understand was they did another full growth scan during this appointment and Freddie’s stomach was measuring in the 94% (larger than the rest of his body). They then shifted the worry from low lying placenta to his stomach circumference and threw in the “because you declined the GTT it could be an indication of gestational diabetes” so I was sent to see an OB at the hospital for them to review and “clear me for home birth”. The appointment was, as I assumed a disaster. I was belittled and laughed at. The community midwife who was supposed to be supporting and advocating for me literally laughed in my face when I was trying to tell the OB my reasons why I was declining the GTT (that being there was no risk factors for my health, pregnancy or family history). I was given no other options other than “take the GD test and we want 2 further growth scans at 34 and 36 weeks to ensure 1) you don’t have GD and 2) he isn’t a big baby”. I asked what was wrong if he was a big baby and they said it’s too risky to birth at home with a big baby. I politely declined, the OB with a smug look said to me “then you’ll be giving birth at hospital”, I smiled back and said then I’ll find a private midwife.

I went home and I withdrew from the community midwifery programme immediately. The midwife manager for the community programme apologised on their behalf and told me that there was no reason to decline me, but with the OB being a consultant they couldn’t override their decision. I then started to really look into free birthing, so many people had recommended a beautiful birth keeper who was local to me, when I had a consult with her my partner and I both felt completely safe in her presence. We decided we would go ahead with free birthing. I was still having antenatal appointments with a registered midwife to stay in the system, as I didn’t want the hassle of having to fight with them after he was born, I’ve heard so many horror stories. With DCP getting involved and snooping around, (in WA).

The registered midwife I was seeing was very supportive of home births but I soon got the hint she was still going to save her own back side over advocate for me. She transferred all my records to my local hospital. I hadn’t actually seen her since I was 34 weeks as every appointment after that was rescheduled for some silly reason or she was sick, it was frustrating at first but it led me to do more work on detaching from the system and really trusting myself. Why did I even need antenatal appointments? I knew my baby was healthy, I was healthy. I see now those appointments were missed for a reason, because my intuition took over and I started to let go of any fears I was holding around free birthing.

I hit 40 weeks and ‘my community midwife’ asked if she could call the hospital to let them know I was “over due” I said no please don’t, as I’m not over due until 41 weeks, but she did anyway 🤦🏻‍♀️ The hospital asked me to go in for CTG daily and a scan, and wanted me to book an induction. I told them I’m happy to go to 42 weeks before I have that conversation and thankfully they were respectful of my decision and didn’t try to harass me as I’d heard happen to other mums.

As Christmas was nearing I started to lose my marbles a little bit, my first daughter came at 36+6, so when Freddie was still not here I started to feel really down. I just wanted him here before Christmas, I’d had so many “false starts” thinking tonight was the night I’d go into labour but every day I’d wake up to nothing again. There was a lot of emotions that I hadn’t processed and I think that was really holding me back. By time Christmas Eve got here I spoke to Freddie and told him if he was still comfortable he could wait a few more days 😂 I really wanted to enjoy Christmas with my 2 year old and didn’t want to be away from her, as the plan was she would go to my mums. So he stayed in a little longer 🙌🏼

Birth:

Boxing Day I woke up and I just felt different. I can’t explain it but I just knew tonight would be the night. I had dreamt of birthing Freddie the night before and when I realised it was a full moon I just knew. I had the urge to clean up, we took all the Christmas decorations down and did a big spring clean. We had dinner at my mums and I told her the baby’s coming tonight on the full moon. We went home and put my toddler to bed, and my partner and I snuggled on the couch. We went to bed at 10:30pm and before bed I organised all of my birthing stuff, ensured everything was ready to go. 2am I had a dream that my mum called me and said “wake up the baby’s coming”. When I woke up from this dream I was like, ‘that was weird’ 🤔 I rolled over and felt a huge drop in my pelvis and seconds later my waters gushed open! I couldn’t believe it! I woke up my partner and he rolled out the bed, we both started laughing because we didn’t expect it to go this way as for weeks I’d been having contractions in the night, no way did I think I’d have the movie scene waters breaking first 😂

I text my birth keeper and told her what was going on. She actually had planned a quick trip out of town the next day, so it was perfect timing meaning she would be able to be at the birth. Contractions started within the hour and were very manageable. I even went back to sleep in between them. Around 4am they started getting more powerful so my mum picked up my daughter, we both cried as we said goodbye to her. I hopped in the spa bath and it was amazing.

I laboured in there for an hour then I started getting really uncomfortable and couldn’t talk through contractions anymore. My partner called our birth keeper and she arrived at 6:30. Over the next 2 hours I went from bath, shower and toilet. Around 9:30 I believe I hit transition, I was losing control telling them I couldn’t do it anymore and I needed to go to hospital for pain relief. They were amazing, telling me I could do this. I don’t remember what time it was but I cried my eyes out, I’ve never cried so hard in my life, literally screaming with tears down my face, my birth keeper reminded me that these are all good signs things are moving along. She reminded me of the fight I’d had with so many people to get to this point and to let it all out. So I did, I changed from trying to control the pain to walking through the pain. I shouted so loud during contractions and it felt like such a release.

Around 9:45 (ish) I felt like Freddie just wasn’t moving down, the pressure above my pubic bone was so bad, my birth keepers did rebozos on me and thankfully he shifted under my pelvis. The pain was excruciating at this point. I thought I would breathe him out calmly like I did with my daughter but I really had to roar him out. I told my partner I was done, I’d tried my best and I was done, I needed pain relief. I begged them all to just let me go. He called the ambulance, as he was on the phone I was left alone for a brief moment on the toilet and I SCREAMED at my great grandmother who has passed away for help. “Nanny May please help me”, I’ve had so many dreams of her during this pregnancy and I could feel her presence at all times. Call it timing or call it fate but after that contraction his head started to crown and I couldn’t control it.

As soon as the paramedics arrived they stepped foot in the bathroom and I had another huge contraction and felt his head right there. There was no time for transferring or pain relief, they gave me the green whistle but reminded me it would make me very dizzy and the pain would help me focus on birthing Freddie so I didn’t use it in the end after begging for pain relief for hours 😂 The paramedics were really good in standing back and letting me do my thing. My birth keeper reminded them to keep their voices down and leave me alone and I’m glad they did because there was nothing they could do at this point anyway 😂

Freddie’s top of his head came out after a few contractions of dipping in and out the birth canal, his top of his head was sat out my vagina for a couple of minutes, instincts took over and I wiggled and put my leg up whilst squatted over the toilet, I stood up and leaned over the bathroom counter and with the next contraction his head was out, one more contraction afterwards and his body followed standing up leaning over the bathroom sink. His daddy caught him and passed him through to me. He came out a little gurgly as I passed some blood with his body, the paramedic rushed over with a suction device thing and I moved his hand out the way and suctioned his mouth myself, I felt like a complete bad ass, the paramedic was like “ok then” 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🤣

The female paramedic was so lovely and she had tears in her eyes and told me it was the first birth she ever witnessed! My birth keeper reminded me it was not over yet, we kept the lights dimmed and as I cuddled and kissed Freddie over the toilet I birthed my placenta, then we all hugged and cried and celebrated. The most beautiful moment ever. After my daughter was born I was so extremely out of it I never experienced a true oxytocin rush, there were so many people in the room and I felt awful. But this time the feeling was AMAZING. I felt like I was glowing from the inside out. We were always open to the plan of transferring to hospital after birthing our boy to make things easier for registration ect. We always said we will just see how things plan out. So seeming the paramedics were already here, they had contacted the hospital already so we transferred in. Midwives at the hospital were really lovely and again very respectful. I had planned for all these arguments with them in my head after such a mess around in my pregnancy with the system but it all went so smoothly. I had a quick shower in hospital, they checked Freddie over and weighed him. He weighed 8lb 9oz at birth, and was perfect in every way (as I knew he would be!) he latched straight away and has been an absolute dream.

We discharged ourselves from hospital and were home 4 hours later. We had the best sleep as he slept in 4 hour increments after a big feed. He is so calm compared to my daughter when she was born, she had so many heel pricks, IV antibiotics (she didn’t need them, I was GBS positive and they scared me into it😭), she was jaundice and I believe because of the antibiotics she developed severe reflux which made her so unsettled and my post partum bubble with her was robbed away from me. So this time has been so different and it’s therefore made me feel so different, so amazing. I am on cloud 9 and I can’t believe I did it. I can’t believe he’s finally here and it all went so perfectly.

I saw a quote that said mothers in labour travel to the stars to collect the souls of their babies and bring them into earth. And so I did, he is my spirit baby who I have felt around me for years and having him here I feel so complete. As hard as it was, I wouldn’t change a thing and I would do it all again💙🤍⭐️