Birth story - Cheryl and baby Grace

From the very beginning of pregnancy I felt so desperate to have a natural birth this time if possible! I worked really hard to get baby into the best position and I started seeing a chiropractor and received adjustments for a tilted pelvis. I did weekly zoom yoga classes, went on lots of short walks, and sat on a yoga ball instead of the sofa to watch tv!

A senior midwife also recommended that my partner and I should watch the Positive Birth Company course together. One of my friends had also had a VBAC last year and she helped me lots, giving me advice and encouragement and books to read! I also joined this group which was great for advice and I’ve loved reading the stories!

From 35 weeks I drank a cup or two of red raspberry leaf tea everyday, from 36 weeks I ate 6 dates everyday, and twice a week did perineal massage. I also downloaded the Freya app and started listening to the meditations and positive affirmations (as well as sticking them up around the house!) alongside lavender aromatherapy to practise relaxation.

My research led me to put together quite a detailed birth plan, which included declining 3 main interventions which are hospital policy for VBAC:

1. No cannula on arrival

2. No vaginal examinations

3. No continuous monitoring.

I realised at my birth plan midwife appointment that my choices to go against hospital policy could make things stressful at the hospital when I turned up in labour and I might have a battle on my hands, so I contacted the head of midwifery and had an appointment with a senior midwife. I also had a telephone consultant appointment. I wasn’t pressured into anything but they spoke to me and sent letters explaining their policies and ensured I was making informed choices. The senior midwife also made sure that hospital staff were aware of my wishes and a birth plan was put in with the hospital notes in advance of my arrival.

On the Saturday evening before my due date I started to get some mild surges, a bit like period pain. I said to my partner Will that I thought something was going on, and we started to get quite excited! We went to bed and by 4am they were getting quite a lot stronger and were 10 mins apart so I woke Will and asked him to put the TENS machine on me. It was Mother’s Day and I thought what an amazing day to bring a baby into the world! But baby wasn’t ready to come out yet! The surges continued throughout the day, we had a small lunch and I spent a lot of time on the yoga ball as well as going for a walk and having a nice relaxing bath! The surges continued through Sunday night although I think I managed to get a bit of sleep in-between. By Monday morning I was getting pretty tired and annoyed with it all. The excitement had disappeared and I just wanted to get into established labour. Surges were still 10 mins apart and seemed to be pretty consistent. I just didn’t know how many more days it was going to go on for! Luckily by Monday evening things started to ramp up. I had a bath and had to get out and put my TENS machine back on because the surges were getting too strong. By the time I put my toddler to bed I was really starting to feel them and my legs had started shaking and my teeth chattering even though I wasn’t cold! We phoned my mum who came over to look after my little boy, and we phoned labour ward to tell them we were coming in. My surges weren’t lasting 60 seconds but they were coming every 2 or 3 minutes and were very powerful. I was hoping we weren’t going in too early as I’d told myself I’d stay home for as long as possible. I hadn’t had a “show” and my waters hadn’t broken. The car journey was long and foggy and I struggled through the surges.

When we arrived at the hospital I started worrying that we were too early and my surges were slowing down. Our midwife was really lovely but when she was talking to me I wasn’t having the surges! I was worried she would send me home! It must have been the adrenalin, because once she left the room they came back in full swing! I went to the toilet and I had my bloody show. The surges were strong, I was leaning over the bed and Will was giving me hip squeezes. They became stronger and I was hanging from his neck as I moaned through them. All the time I continued to use my TENS machine and I had my headphones in using the Freya app to help me breathe through them. One surge at a time.

We didn’t seem to have been there long until I felt “pushy”, it felt different from before and I thought it was too early, I thought surely I can’t be fully dilated yet (I’d declined VEs so no-one knew how many cm dilated I was!). I told Will to press the button to get the midwife! She told me to go with what my body was telling me! I think I must have had a bit of a transition then because I remember thinking “Why haven’t I had any gas and air yet??” and then I remembered that on my birth plan I’d said I didn’t want to be offered any pain relief and I would ask for it myself! I remember saying “Will, should I have some gas and air?? Is it alright if I have some gas and air now please”.

At some point Will must have gone to the car to bring in all of my stuff (we had a lot!). He didn’t have much time to set anything up but he did manage to put out the lavender aromatherapy diffuser, some battery powered tea lights, my fluffy blanket on the floor, and my extra thick yoga mat. I’d told myself I wouldn’t get onto the hospital bed at any point during birth as I feared it and it would have felt too medicalised.

The pushing sensation became stronger and I wanted to go onto all fours. Until now I’d still been wearing my pants and pyjama bottoms but it was time for them to come off and to get ready for baby to be born! I breathed in copious amounts of gas and air and rocked my body backwards and forwards breathing down so hard to get baby further down. My midwife simply kept an eye and was pretty much commando rolling underneath me with the doppler. I could hear baby’s heartbeat, it was strong and consistent and it felt good to hear it regularly. Every time she listened in I could feel the doppler moving further and further down. It felt so good to know I was making that progress and baby was getting closer and closer to being born!

Will was kneeling beside me, rubbing my back, kissing my shoulder, holding the gas and air for me and telling me how well I was doing. I needed him there with me. He really was “by my side and on my side” and I love him now more than ever before, it was such a powerful bonding experience and I feel so lucky to have him and his support.

I filled my lungs with gas and air (is it possible to breathe in too much?!) I thought my teeth were going to fall out at one point because I was biting down so hard! I had quite a lot of time between breathing down (pushing) to recover for the next one but my hands and wrists were starting to get tired so we wheeled the bed round and lowered it so I could kneel up from the floor and rest my arms on the bed, which actually created a better angle for baby to be born as I was almost upright. I was making some pretty primal noises at this point and I embraced it! It was so amazing to feel baby’s head right there, I knew we’d nearly made it. It took a few surges to get her out with some breaks in-between, but I knew it was better to do it slowly and reduce the risk of serious tearing. All of a sudden she was out and the midwife passed her up between my legs! I think I was in shock and Will was saying “I think we’ve got a girl Cheryl” I didn’t believe him as I was convinced we would have another boy, and he was saying “look, look” haha, I couldn’t stop saying “she’s a girl, we’ve got a baby girl” I was so happy, and having that surprise at the end was just the icing on the cake. I was kneeling on the floor, holding my baby girl who I had just given birth to, and it was an amazing feeling.

I found it quite funny after that I’d been so adamant that I didn’t want to be wired up to machines (for continuous monitoring), but when Grace was born she was pretty much tangled up in wires from my headphones and TENS machine! I listened to meditations on the Freya app throughout the whole labour and found it so helpful, it made me feel relaxed and safe and kept reminding me of what I was capable of. There’s one part where she says “everyone is cheering you on” and someone else had told me to think of all my facebook friends there cheering for me and it made me chuckle to myself when I was pushing!

I was holding Grace, and we stood up for Will to cut the cord. I was planning on a physiological third stage and I didn’t have to wait long because the placenta fell out onto the floor which shocked everyone but at least I didn’t have to wait around! We finally got into bed and she breastfed instantly, and we had a couple of hours of golden time before they came and weighed her.

I still cannot believe how fortunate I was to have a birth that followed my birth preferences and resulted in such a positive VBAC experience. I feel very blessed indeed and I am so glad that I stuck to what my instincts were telling me and to make it as natural as possible. I felt so in control, and the midwife made me feel safe and relaxed. I am so so glad that I went for it, I could finally feel what my body was made to do, and I brought my beautiful little girl into the world, she really is a little treat!

I hope many more women will go on to have similar experiences and spread the word to other women that birth is not something to be be feared but something beautiful to be enjoyed and embraced.