Birth story - Charli and baby Freyja

*Trigger warning* - 2nd degree tear, mentions of epidural, meconium in waters. Mentions of induction.

Pregnancy

I found out I was pregnant with our second baby 2 days before our wedding, which was great timing because it meant we could tell our family in person as some had had to travel for the event. Overall it was a very positive and normal pregnancy. I had bad nausea, sciatica and SPD but other than that I was active and kept healthy this time (my first was a bit of a mess). I was diagnosed with gallstones at 17 weeks, as the growing baby was compressing my gallbladder, the flare ups were horrible and put me in hospital for pain relief several times. I changed my diet drastically to manage the symptoms, but still needed pain relief regularly towards the end of pregnancy. The last few weeks were really tough, as I could hardly walk with my SPD but my 3 year old is super active so it was a tricky period.

Labour

I didn't really have any signs leading up to labour at all.

39+5 - I had about 2 hours of very mild tightening that when away as soon as I went to bed for the evening.

My due date came and went as they tend to do and this time I wasn't bothered at all. My mentality was that baby would come when she was ready, there was no hurry in my mind.

40+2 - I had my OB appointment (midwives until 39 weeks then 1 OB appointment is my hospitals policy), he was very patronising and tried to scare me into accepting an induction date (this is what happened with my first labour, so I was ready for it. ) I firmly stated "I won't be discussing induction until 41 weeks, and I won't accept an induction unless there is a real risk before 42 weeks." He told me I was making a mistake, but agreed to offer me monitoring more regularly instead starting the following week. I made my appointments for the monitoring and was feeling a little shaky and upset by how he had spoken to me, but also proud of myself for sticking to my guns. As it so happened I shouldn't have worried as she was on her way.

40+3 - I had early morning errands to run and childcare drop off. Around 1pm I started having mild tightenings again. I decided to bounce on my exercise ball and start timing the surges to see of there was a pattern.

Right from the start the surges were coming between 3 and 4 minutes apart and lasting between 40 seconds and 1 minute. I was making a chicken roast dinner that needed at least 3 hours in the oven, so I decided to still do that as I felt she would be bound to come if I decided to start a mammoth task like that!!!

3pm - I messaged my mum telling her to be on standby as she lives about an hour away across the city and would need to navigate ongoing roadworks as well. I still wasn't sure anything was really happening and when she offered to just come for dinner I turned her down, saying there was no point doing 2 hours of driving for nothing.

5pm - I could sense things were changing a little bit and I was using my up-breathing just to get myself in the flow, even though I could still talk and walk just fine. Hubby and I did bedtime for our son and I called my mum to come over - just in case.

7:30pm - my mum arrived and I was just happily sitting on my birthing ball, bouncing and having a cup of tea and studying. (I had an assignment due ). Things weren't progressing much so I decided to head to bed, in the hopes thing would either stop or start properly.

10pm - I was becoming to uncomfortable to lie down and decided to get up and sit on my ball in the loungeroom. It was dark and warm and I was just listening to affirmations and up-breathing through my surges. It was lovely.

My mum got up and was rubbing rose oil on my back and we were just chatting quietly.

I decided to let hubby sleep as long as he could because I knew then it was probably going to be a big night!

12am - woke up my husband as I was really starting to need to breath through my surges . We called the hospital and the midwife basically said as it was out second baby we should use our own discretion to come in and she trusted our intuition. That was so reassuring and reminded me that it was my birth and we were in control.

I decided to see how the next hour progressed but within half an hour we were packing the car and heading off. Luckily the birthing centre was only 12 minutes away, because it was a horrible car ride. I just hated being in that position and it definitely made me enter the red a few times but we were breathing together through each surge and I had my big headphones on.

1am - we were shown to our room and were assigned a beautiful, calm midwife who knew about the PBC!!!! I felt so safe with her and I couldn't believe she knew about the course and the Freya app and everything! She was so supportive of my crazy detailed birth plan and really was a wonderful presence. She allowed me my husband to be alone in the room for the next few hours, she came and went every hour to check the babies vitals with a Doppler.

I moved in and out of the shower, standing under the hot water and rocking through each surges as they built up, getting stronger each time.

4:30am - things really starting to get intense. I was leaning over a birthing ball, completely blocking out the world and just focusing on my breathing. My husband held my hands and was putting pressure on my lower back during my surges. They were coming every 2 minutes and lasting over a minute and felt more like waves just coming and barely leaving. It was difficult, but my husband kept reminding me "you can do hard things" and "every surge brings our baby girl closer to us."

6:15am (ish) - my body was starting to push. My waters still hadn't gone and i was exhausted. I began to feel panic and despair, but a little voice said "this feels like transition". My midwife offered to do an internal exam and I felt it was a good time. She said I was only 5cm, but that I was lovely and stretchy and my waters were holding back dilation and it didn't mean much. I knew from my last birth how quickly things can develop so I didn't feel disappointment, but was feeling a little bit desperate and asked for gas and air just to help focus my breathing.

6:23am - a huge surge (did I mention I howl when I get a surge? No? Well, yeah I'm a howler ) and I howled and with a very audible "POP" my waters went. Drenching my poor husbands shoes.

There was some old meconium in the waters so my midwife told us calmly she was going to bring a few midwives in just in case baby needed a bit of help when she arrived. The other midwives came in and they were discussing options quietly and all I could think was "I can feel her head. She's coming" my body was pushing and pushing and i was down breathing like a crazy woman. My midwife said "she was at 5cm before so we may need a bit of help if baby is distressed." And the midwife in charge had a quick look and said "No we won't, she's crowning!"

This was my favourite part of the labour. It was so hard but I felt so powerful. I could feel my daughter entering the world and I was in control in my own way. Two seconds later at 6:25am she was born.

My wonderful midwife advocated for my physiological 3rd stage (unmanaged) and so I sat for around 45 minutes until body pushed out the placenta all on its own. I was so proud.

I had 3 hours of uninterrupted skin on skin and just basked in the wonderful glow.

I was so energised and empowered. I had a shower and my husband did some skin on skin too.

I asked to be discharged immediately and we were home for lunch!

I can't describe quite how much the PBC did for me, but all I can say is without it, I wouldn't have had the tools to make my second and final birth the incredible experience that it was. I am so blessed.