Birth story - Becci and baby Maxime

*Trigger Warning* - minor blood loss.

My birth was, fortunately, very straightforward, which I feel very lucky about but also feel that using what I’d learnt in my Positive Birth Company course contributed to this being the case. It’s also what gave me the confidence to home birth.

To get things started I was eating 6 dates a day, I was doing positions like all fours etc to help baby move as he was sort of back to back (and stayed that way), being upright forwards and open when possible, just trying to stay chilled and keep oxytocin high, and also sex I think really helped - 3 times in 4 days before birth (TMI but I have to share in case it works for others)! The Ina May Gaskin book ‘Guide to Childbirth’ was like my birth bible and I also read the Positive Birth book by Milli Hill. I read lots of birth stories too. I also used an aniball from 37 weeks and only had 2 small grazes, I feel like it did help but who knows!

Deciding to have a home birth felt like a big decision and was one I researched and thought about a lot. I worried about some of the statistics and whether I was making the best choice for my baby. In the end, I decided to go ahead with the idea that I could go to hospital if it’s what I felt I wanted at the time, and was fine with the idea of transferring if there was an emergency. I’m now so glad I chose to home birth my first baby - it was a peaceful and empowering experience.

I awoke early on 23rd Feb, and woke my partner Thomas for sex as I’d started losing my mucus plug the day before and felt that sex had helped start that. Straight after we lay back down to sleep again at 6.45am, and I started to feel uncomfortable sensations down below every few minutes. I wasn’t comfy in bed and wanted to be upright so went downstairs, got myself some tea and cereal, thinking I'd better eat in case this could be the start. By 9ish Thomas awoke and I was having to breathe through the surges, I started using the Freya app and surges were mostly every 2-3 mins lasting 30 secs. It felt best to be standing and moving, and by this point I needed Thomas to help me in the shower as things ramped up. I started to tidy but it was getting hard to function so we headed downstairs to try and get comfy. I was already pretty tired but struggled to find resting positions, I put on the TENS machine which provided some relief and maybe some distraction?

Around 1pm surges started to get a little longer, I called my midwife to let her know things were happening (talking between surges, which were still every 2 mins). A little later I found I’d lost some blood and at 3pm a community midwife arrived to check it out - they weren’t concerned about the blood but I accepted a VE and was surprised to find I was 6cm! I think the midwife didn’t expect that either for a first time birth. Our friend Candice (acting as our sort-of doula) arrived too and it was all hands on deck to get the pool set up. I’d expected labour to take much more time so had been holding off on pretty much everything - now it was time to admit this was really happening!

I found I needed to work hard to strike a balance between being prepared for each surge so I could control my breathing in time, but then shift my focus from the sensation of the surge to the breath. When I did focus on breath over feeling they were much easier to get through. I mostly stood swaying on my own or with a birth partner, and spent a little while kneeling whilst leaning on cushions on the sofa.

I was fully absorbed by the surges and unsure by that point what I even needed or wanted but when I got in the pool around 4pm it was relieving and calming. I’d not been able to do anything other than walk/stand/kneel since it started and my legs and back were exhausted! I rested on the side while my birth partners held my hands and gave me massages, meditations and encouragement. I started to feel pushy feelings after being in there a while. I didn’t get a ‘transition’ but was thinking about asking for gas and air, and felt I wanted to know how long was left but knew it wasn’t possible to know, It really was intense at this point and I wanted it to end but just kept getting through each surge without thinking further ahead, with the affirmations ‘relax, soften, open, release’ and ‘I float through my surges without resistance’ in my eyeline.

The pushing sensation was incredible, I felt very animalistic, like any mammal going through birth. I didn’t do any of my own pushing, my body did it all for me. I felt my body shuddering strongly at some points and realised I it was because I was holding back from really letting the surges fully take over. I had to really focus on my breath to let the surges take over. I could feel baby going down the birth canal and back up again. I made whatever noises helped me!

Hearing that the head was coming was an enormous relief, knowing we were nearly there. There were comments of how his hair was swishing in the water, which was so exciting for me. I reached down and feeling my baby’s head was such an unexpected sensation, it felt soft and squishy. I calmed and was chatty between surges - my mood lifted as I knew the end was close.

With an almighty surge and coached panting the head was born, and with the next surge and one coached push my baby was out. I reached down and bought him to my chest, it was the most overwhelming and beautiful moment!

My wonderful boy latched straight away and we had a blissful hour in the pool. The midwives were very keen on a hat which in hindsight I’d not thought about my wishes on but it wasn’t a massive deal. The placenta wasn’t making an appearance so I got out and had the injection whilst baby had skin to skin with dad and was weighed etc.

I am so glad I took the PBC course which gave me and my birth partners the tools and knowledge to manage birth ourselves, and gave me the confidence to bring my first baby into the world at home. As intense and all-consuming birth can be, my experience was so peaceful and personal.

One of my reflections after the birth was that maybe if I had had the gas and air I’d have been less exhausted post birth. I wasn’t trying to avoid pain relief but it just didn’t happen - I now wouldn’t have minded if I did use it, so would say don’t be a pain relief martyr in the moment!