Birth story - Adele and baby Toby

Without doubt, giving birth to my second child is the proudest moment of my life. I look back and can’t believe that I gave birth to him in my dining room, without any pain relief, in the middle of a global pandemic.

Rewind three years to the birth of my first child and it was an altogether very different experience. First time around, I had a wonderful pregnancy, managing to dodge morning sickness and ended up working full time as a primary school teacher until I was 39 weeks pregnant. A few days after finishing work, I got the first signs that labour was imminent and after a ‘normal’ start at home, once I made the journey into hospital it became an extremely negative experience. When my waters went in triage, they contained meconium so I was strapped up to monitoring and told to lay flat on my back for the rest of the birth. I found the bright lights, student doctors, restricted movement too much and asked for an epidural. The epidural failed. Two hours of pushing later with legs in stirrups and an episiotomy I finally had our beautiful baby girl in my arms. But I felt emotionally broken.

The trauma from that experience meant that I only started to consider the thought of having a second baby over two years later on the proviso that I would have an elective c-section. I fell pregnant in February 2020.

But then Covid hit.

I cried on every ‘over the phone’ appointment, I had to attend all scans alone and a referral to peri-natal care for suspected PTSD was put on hold because of everything going on.

I knew I needed to do something.

My sister-in-law told me about The PBC and as soon as I sat down and watched those videos in the digital pack my whole outlook changed. Listening to Siobhan talk about what factors helped/hindered birth validated my feelings from our previous birth and made me analyse how I could take some of those negative factors away - the bright lights, too many people, restricted movement among many others. When she started talking about birth settings, and in particular home birth, it was like a light bulb moment in my head!

From that moment, I actually began feeling excited about the birth. I decided I would throw all my efforts into trying to make it the positive experience I longed for it to be. I used the The PBC positive affirmations up around the house, downloaded the Freya App and used the tracks to help me go to sleep each night and I also read and watched as many birth stories as I could get my hands on. I felt by doing this, I was gaining some control. I also started preparing everything I would need for a home birth, although being mindful that even if I required a transfer to hospital, I had my ‘toolkit’ to help me out. When telling people my plans, many were sceptical and worried but thankfully I was able to confidently talk about how safe a setting home was from what I had learned from the course. I also discovered a number of my colleagues had had home births so was able to tap into their positive experiences.

On Thursday 21st October, one day over my ‘due date’, I attended a routine growth scan alone, due to Covid restrictions. On arrival, I was told I shouldn’t actually have been there as scans at this stage were extremely unreliable however, they still scanned me. After the scan, a consultant informed me that from looking at the scan there was a very small risk that the blood flow from myself to the baby wasn’t what it should be despite them previously telling me how unreliable the scans were. When I told the consultant I was planning a home birth she laughed and said that wouldn’t be happening. She wanted to induce me there and then because - ‘why would I want to risk my baby dying?’ I understand she was just doing her job but there was a lack of sensitivity particularly after my previous experience. Thankfully, there was no space for induction until the Saturday morning so I had 36 hours to get things moving. I used the BRAIN technique and opted for a sweep before leaving the hospital and in my gut I sensed labour wasn’t far away. I used what I learnt from the course and made a plan that the next day would be for rest and relaxation to try and get things moving. We arranged for my daughter to spend the day with my mum and turned off all notifications on my phone.

Thankfully, my instincts were right! Friday morning I awoke and within an hour the faintest sense of surges began. My mum collected our daughter and my husband went to work whilst I stayed at home resting and getting into ‘the zone’. I used the Freya app to time my surges and they were anything from every 12-16 minutes at that point and totally manageable so I continued just to relax. By lunchtime my husband returned home. We ate lunch, watched First Dates and tried to stay in our happy calm space. I’d move from bouncing on the ball downstairs, to having a bath, to swaying from our chest of drawers in our bedroom. I changed location every couple of hours if I felt things were slowing a little, always remembering to use the UFO positions. Changing the scene, listening to the tracks on the app and using up-breathing throughout each surge meant that the day just flew and by 6pm the app said I’d been in established labour for a good half an hour and we decided to call labour ward.

Within 30 minutes, Charlotte, a lovely midwife arrived at our house. She came straight upstairs to see me, set up her things and asked if I’d feel ok about being examined. I was intrigued to find out how far along I was as although I’d had surges all day, they were completely manageable and felt like I had plenty of energy left. Therefore hearing I was already 7cm was such a shock and just spurred me on even more. Quickly, the second midwife, Emma, arrived. They read my birth preferences and were completely supportive of my wishes. They left me to it and just observed, monitored the baby’s heart rate and filled out paperwork. At this point my husband began filling the pool. He loved that with a homebirth, he had a very clear role and could focus his efforts on setting up the pool and making sure the birth environment was perfect. An hour or so after the midwives arrived I once again felt I needed a change of scene and headed downstairs between surges. I was greeted by the most beautiful sight. Fairy lights on, my playlist playing, the pool all set up and photos of our family spread around. He’d done an amazing job! I really felt excited and it was only at this stage that I started to think ... maybe we could actually pull this homebirth off!

By now I was swaying at the fireplace still completely in control and able to laugh and joke with the midwives between surges. I couldn’t stop thinking what a massive contrast this feeling was compared to my last birth. In my head I wanted to hold off going into the pool until I felt I really needed it for pain relief.

After another hour or so it was pool time! As soon as I stepped in there I felt weightless but the surges stepped up a notch and I really had to focus when each surge came. After two very intense surges something switched and I could tell that both the midwives and my husband sensed this too. The midwives moved from their relaxed position on the sofa to being by my side at the pool. I suddenly felt sick and thankfully a bucket appeared from nowhere. From the modules on the digital pack I knew I was transitioning to the next stage.

The next moment, I distinctly remember actually feeling my son make his way down the birth canal. Yes it was uncomfortable but it was also the most incredible experience. My body took over and just started to push. The midwives told me to go with whatever I felt comfortable with. All I wanted to do was push.

After only two pushes our beautiful baby boy, Toby George, was born, still in his amniotic sac, into the pool. I’d planned to lift him up and out of the water myself but due to the atmospheric dim lighting I couldn’t actually see him and had to have a bit of assistance! I couldn’t quite believe it. We had quite literally achieved our perfect birth! We spent a few precious minutes in the pool just staring at him not quite believing what we’d achieved. I think I was in shock at how quick the second stage had been considering I pushed for over two hours with our daughter. The midwives helped us out of the pool and we cuddled on the sofa wrapped in towels. I opted to have the injection for the third stage however my placenta needed a little bit of extra help to be delivered. An hour or so later, once the bleeding had died down a little, the midwives checked me over.

I couldn’t quite believe it when they told me I had only a couple of very minor grazes and wouldn’t need any stitching considering Toby was a very healthy 8lb 10oz and I’d previously had an episiotomy with a much lighter baby! I wholeheartedly put this down to how calm I was feeling, the water and the fact I followed what my body wanted to do.

By 1am the midwives had packed up and left us to it. Whilst my husband emptied the pool, I was able to take a shower in my own bathroom and get curled up in my own bed. That night we went to bed altogether as a family something we would never have been able to do if we’d had a hospital birth with current Covid restrictions. Waking up the next morning with our baby by our side was just magical and I couldn’t wait to get his big sister back home to start our new life as a family of four.

A homebirth was something I would never have considered without The Positive Birth Company. Previously, I thought I wouldn’t cope with the mess and lack of drugs I associated it with. Instead, it has been the most healing, magical experience and I would do it again in a heartbeat (although my husband has assured me our number is definitely only two!)

It has taught me that once I set my mind to something I’m pretty stubborn but, more importantly, I am also capable of so much more than I ever previously thought.

It is without doubt, the proudest moment of my life. Thank you so much!